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    1. 搬家 上

      忽然想写一篇文章,就叫搬家。

      深夜临睡前,夫妻两闲话,说着说着就说到了即将到来的搬家,想到一大堆家具用品,往哪里存放,竟睡意阑珊了。

      光着脚从卧室走了出去,经过客厅,穿过宴请厅,再到厨房,停在被夜幕包围的太阳房里,那一轮秋天的月亮被云层遮去了,可后院依然有着一种安详的光亮,枫叶林带着重重的神秘,绿草地是墨绿色的沉淀,或许那墨绿也只是我深夜里的缅想。九年前,搬来这里,爱的就是这个被绿树林围在中间的玻璃房子。

      莫名地想起白天读着的那些有关张爱玲的文字,其中一篇说到她晚年有一百八十次搬家,平均一周一次。坐在黑暗里,数数自己曾经搬过的住处,心惊到数目也是双位了,虽说我没有受皮肤瘙痒症的困扰或者被想象的美州虱子追赶,更从不曾想过要像张爱玲那样离群索居,但自三十多年前来了美国,到今天搬家也搬了双位数次,虽说一次次的搬家都自有我的道理。

      黑夜里,往事一幕幕静悄悄地走过墨绿色的青草地……

      三十多年前,来美的第一站是夏威夷。最先住在学长夫妻的居所,那是一个美国老太太的面海住屋,我只住了两天,就去了离檀香山市区几十公里远的奶牛场,在那里住了一个多月,陪一位传奇的夏威夷女人,赚了点陪伴费,就到了开学的时候了,先搬到与一位从北京到夏大做访问学者的老大姐同住,那是一个中年夫妇的家,女的是夏威夷胖姐姐,男的是从本土去的美国帅大叔,我付房租,北京大姐不付,她常跟着帅大叔去帮别人割草整理花园,以换取免费住宿。每次割完草,她会抱怨辛苦,说她在北京是大学里的老师,对自己做这种粗活儿,自怜自叹,可对于省出的上百元美金,一换算成人民币是她曾经多少个月的工资,便又埋头继续下去。我实在有点烦了她来来回回矛盾的说辞,还试着为她向美国帅大叔要点工钱,无果,结果与帅大叔很互看不顺眼,最终只住了一个多月,我就搬走了。

      在夏威夷的第三个住处是一间广东人家租住的小别墅,他们一家祖孙三代五六口,住在屋子的一边,另一边有两个房间,一个房间租给了两个中国来的男生,一个房间租给了一个从广州来的女孩,加上我,那两个男生中的一个,在我第一天搬进去打招呼时一聊,发现竟然是我大学学长的大哥,我们四个人相处融洽,时不时的,大哥会煮一锅炖,就是蔬菜鸡腿加水煮熟,会招呼我们下课回去的人吃点东西。他不是留学生,在夏威夷一家图书馆里做事,所以对我们另几位都非常照顾。那家广东人也还算不错,除了一次老太太硬要把他媳妇扔进抽水马桶里的头发算到我身上之外,她喜欢煮一些粤式的汤饮,一只整鸡放在沙煲里,再加一堆中药,他们一家喝不完,就招呼我们都喝一点,开始还不习惯,觉得中药味很重,像喝药,慢慢的到品出了汤里的一丝甜味。

      也是因为我们四个人处的还不错,于是决定更自由搬出去,不受房东的约束,在离夏威夷大学不远的一栋高层公寓里,找到了一个两间卧室的公寓,那座公寓楼就在高速公路的旁边,开了窗有点吵,但是我们很快就适应了新住处,大哥的美国上司还赠送给我们七成新的一套沙发,客厅里一放,立刻有了家的感觉。

      两个男生觉得那间卧室够大,还可以再招一位进去分担房租,我也在学校的课堂上对一位上海来的女同学一吆喝要找新室友,这一吆喝就认识了现在的先生, 他的导师刚招了一名来自中国的研究生,人未到却拜托师哥的他帮助找住处,就这么一个锲机,令我和他走到了一起。

      恋爱谈的忽高忽低,但也感觉与另三位原本挺滑顺的友情有了点小疙瘩了,对于三天两头来探门的男友,别人不说什么,我自己觉得不大合适了,于是便搬了出来,在一个很安静的住宅区里找到一栋典型的夏威夷小屋,小屋里住着一个三十来岁的夏威夷女子,离婚,有个七八岁大的孩子,不过孩子跟父亲,平常不在,有时会来,小屋的客厅把她的卧室和我的卧室分开,相对我们都比较有隐私。男友从三天两头出现到完全成了小尾巴,我也开始学着做厨娘,他干脆“赖着”做食客,也是察觉了这样下去不妥,又寻思着搬家。

      找到了一间离我的大学只有两站路的公寓楼,是一个Studio,不大,却是完全属于自己的一方小天地,不再跟任何人分享厨房卫生间了。第一次自己住,颇有些兴奋,男友帮忙,在旧货店里买了一张旧书桌和椅子,再把一张床放在房间的正中央,拖来拖去的行李箱放进橱柜里,看着进门走廊那里的小厨房,和房间一角通往独立卫生间的门, 很满足。

      说来这两次搬家都是因为男朋友,年轻人一谈恋爱似乎就忘乎所以。几年后,我第一次做房主,也把一间房间租给了一位加拿大来美国工作的华裔女孩,她说好是一个人租,可她的男朋友也是三天两头来“噌饭”,先生就说怎么搞得像是租给两个人的感觉呢,我提醒他当年他也是这样的???可见多令房东闹心呢!而通常一对小恋人沉浸在自己的世界里而完全不知别人的感觉。

      在夏威夷我只待了一年多,可是搬家就搬了八次,上面写的六次,还有两次也是短暂的借宿,比起张爱玲一周一次还是好很多了。但是,就是这样经常搬家,才导致我中学的好友找不到我,她当时处于失恋的低谷,苦闷之极,找不到我就跑去我父亲的医院找我老爸要我的电话,老爸怕她打对方付费的电话,增加我的负担,那时中国穷啊,基本上国内打来的电话,都是我方付费,一个电话几分钟,也要几十块美金,对于我们穷留学生实在是负担不起。好友不久就自杀了,我一直为此内疚,觉得如果老爸把我的电话号码给她,也许我和她联系上,说说她的苦恼,她就不会那么决然的离开这个世界。这样的愧疚跟着我很多年,我常在梦里梦见她,和她像以往那样,手拉手说着话,说着说着我忽然意识到她已经死了,那怎么还会跟我说话呢?难道是鬼魂?倏然惊醒,冷汗淋漓。十多年前,我回国,特地去她的墓地看她,为她带去了一束鲜花,站在那个不断汽车呼啸而过的高速公路旁边的坟地里,我告诉她我来看她了,请她原谅我在她人生的最后关头,不知情的我没能伸出救援的手……从那以后,她越来越少地在我梦里出现,直到今天写这篇文章时,想想也有十几年再没见到她的身影出现在我的梦里了。

      待续

      搬家 中
















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